How our children help us move on

Yesterday I had moments of break downs, I had to get my car home that I left at work Thursday morning the entire drive home I didn't want to go back. I knew I was going to walk through the door of a house that would no longer have Reno dancing in excitement that I was home. I also had to bring groceries in that I knew she wouldn't be getting into, or standing by my feet so I would have to walk around her just to put the food up.

I made supper for everyone and instead of eating with them I ate bread, I picked the crust off like I had done many times before and went to toss it to the door way where I just knew Reno would be but this time she wasn't this time I had no one to toss my crust to. "Breathe babe it will be OK" I heard as I swallowed my tears thinking no one would see me. It was Todd giving his love to me and I could feel every bit of it from him. Reno has rekindled our love for each other in so many wonderful ways, no words could ever express this enough.

So I get it together I tell the kids it's time for a bath and I take them upstairs. While washing Cadences hair she tells me that she misses her long hair so bad she just wanted it back and why couldn't she get it back. All the words I told her were all the words I needed to hear myself. "Cadence honey I know you miss it and with time it will grow back." Time? How funny that's what I need time, my heart will grow back in time just like Cadences hair would. "Honey missing it makes it sweeter to have it, doesn't it?" Wow how true this was for me too, by missing Reno I was now able to see how deep I loved her, Reno gave that to me she showed me back all the love I ever gave her over the years by her sweet memories.

Cadence was only telling me how she felt about her hair but I was also able to learn and grow from this small conversation. It is the small conversations that we learn the most in and on this day I sit knowing that all small conversations with me are the biggest gifts I could ever receive.