Why is it so.......

Ever noticed you tell your child to stop doing something or said NO to something you get a look of what language are you speaking? I heard once before I had children that if I tell a child NO that I must stick to it so they get the point and wont run all over me. Okay this statement is half true..... let me explain.

If you say NO as an auto response shouldn't you first think why you are saying NO? Yea if its going to hurt them or someone else sure you must stick to the NO. However you do owe it to the child an answer to the why that will most definitely follow. So the child wants to paint, you say NO. Why did you say no? Is it because you don't want to get the stuff out, is it because you don't want to clean up a mess when they are done? The point to this is if you see that you say NO or think about saying NO because you are too lazy to do something for the child then you must and need to change your answer from NO to YES. Let them paint! They want to go outside and you say NO just because you are too tried let them go outside muster up as much energy as you can and go sit your butt in a chair while your child plays.

If we always say NO without thought our children will grow up in a limiting world, they will also become lazy parents to their children. They will never fully grow, explore and learn in a health way. If you tell a child NO and mean it and the child does it anyway, what happens in your mind? Time for a time out, time for a spanking? How do you drill home your point and stop the child from walking all over you? Do you think a child who is respected will in turn respect back? Do you think you have to hurt feelings and cause pain to the skin to drill in respect?

If you think spanking your child is best, and the only way, you will get a wake up call. Think about when you were a child and got a spanking; how did that feel? Did you really respect your parents more? Or just feared them so you listened because of fear? So ask yourself this and please feel free to write it if you want real change to occur in your life.

When I remember______________spanking me (using the observing eye) I feel__________because my need for _____________was not met.

If you tell me or yourself out loud while reading this, my spankings were wonderful. I learned so much respect, and....... your just lying to yourself because the pain is to great to face. That is perfectly fine. Many people lie to themselves for many reasons, (like why I choose to smoke). But your children will not get the full complete you till you know who the full complete you is.

Okay so now you have your statement (your feel and your need), now write the following with your feeling and your need. Once that is written really soak that in. Really read that and understand your words as they are!

When I remember God Loving me I feel__________because my need for__________was going to be met.

Example this is what mine read:
When I remember God Loving me I feel angry because my need for compassion was going to be met.

So God says okay Chasity I'm going to show you compassion through loving you and I get angry at God because I have to get through life the hard way, in my head I do anyway. I want to learn love through hate. Sound dumb? If you said yes then I ask you why aren't you completely connected to God then? If you don't have all the gifts as Jesus then you aren't connected like you think. Ok not true..... you already have the gifts as Jesus did you just don't know how to use them YET.

To feel love don't you need to know its opposite? You want to be rich, then you must know what lack feels like right? Next time before you say NO ask yourself why? Then really apply yourself as a parent. If you find yourself punishing, picture you doing that to yourself. Apply the Golden Rule. Why rule with an iron fist when love and compassion rule even better?

HMLM process will read just like the process above and can be applied in the same way.